Chris' insight on perfectionism really hit home this weekend. For me, the push for perfection has always included some self-deprecating punishment when it could not be achieved. And, as Chris questioned, just what is the definition? I can play a mighty game of "change the rules" anytime I wanted to either feel perfect or perfectly fail.
... So Saturday, I relaxed in the company of some dear friends - and I indulged in some pretty rich food, dry red wine and delicious bakery cake. It was such a nice night - celebrating, reminscing ... By the time I left, I was feeling "bad," and "guilty" in my head and kinda uncomfortable in my stomach. By Sunday, I was in full regret mode - and ready to be "punished" at the scale, or as I got into my jeans. Lo and behold, instead of growing two sizes that day (like I thought I would/deserved) I was still the same - still 10 pounds lighter since I first committed to the Project, still making good choices (skipped all the starches to have that yummy cake) still working on it all -- and that was it. No lightening strikes, no bad karma. Wow, could I really be letting go of the crime and punishment style of change? Can it really be so simple that perfect is just ... perfectly me?
I think this is big - wondering if you all feel the same. There are so many arenas to dance the perfect-or-punished tango -- work, home, with my kids, with my spouse... Maybe all we need is to be perfectly present - in whatever we are in. No judging. No expectation of the other shoe dropping.
Thanks for listening,