Monday, February 23, 2009

Of perfection and punishment...

Chris' insight on perfectionism really hit home this weekend. For me, the push for perfection has always included some self-deprecating punishment when it could not be achieved. And, as Chris questioned, just what is the definition? I can play a mighty game of "change the rules" anytime I wanted to either feel perfect or perfectly fail.
... So Saturday, I relaxed in the company of some dear friends - and I indulged in some pretty rich food, dry red wine and delicious bakery cake. It was such a nice night - celebrating, reminscing ... By the time I left, I was feeling "bad," and "guilty" in my head and kinda uncomfortable in my stomach. By Sunday, I was in full regret mode - and ready to be "punished" at the scale, or as I got into my jeans. Lo and behold, instead of growing two sizes that day (like I thought I would/deserved) I was still the same - still 10 pounds lighter since I first committed to the Project, still making good choices (skipped all the starches to have that yummy cake) still working on it all -- and that was it. No lightening strikes, no bad karma. Wow, could I really be letting go of the crime and punishment style of change? Can it really be so simple that perfect is just ... perfectly me?
I think this is big - wondering if you all feel the same. There are so many arenas to dance the perfect-or-punished tango -- work, home, with my kids, with my spouse... Maybe all we need is to be perfectly present - in whatever we are in. No judging. No expectation of the other shoe dropping.
Just right.
Thanks for listening,

1 comment:

  1. Kelly,
    Lady, you are so eloquent in your writing and thinking and so right on with your message. Love that you posed the question (and answer) "Can it really be so simple that perfect is just....perfectly me?" (I'm so happy we've met and been able to share with one another.)